


Wide Awake

by GeekLibrarian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Hiding Medical Issues, Medical Jargon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4109902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLibrarian/pseuds/GeekLibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader gets interrupted in a hunt by the Winchester brothers, who are unaware of her medical condition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wide Awake

Very slowly you began to recover consciousness and open your eyes. At first, everything was a blur, but after a little while, the accusing eyes of your kung fu instructor became clear, as well as her reproving expression.

“Again?” she asked you as soon as you started to stand up again “Get change and go home” and with that she turned around and started to walk away from you.

“No, wait!” you stood up to quickly and everything began to spin around again “I need the training”

She stopped and turned to face you again and you could see she was furious “No! I TOLD you, if you don’t take care of your health, I’m not taking care of your training, come back when you understand that”.

You made the salute and walked away from the kwon. Your head was still spinning and now there was a blinding pain on the right side of your head, like if a very long and very thin needle was sticking through your eye. You placed a couple of fingers under your right nostril and felt the warm blood pouring out of it, sighed deeply and went to the bathroom to clean up and get changed.

There was a shower in the bathroom, so you stepped inside and opened the hot water, letting it brush your body and cleaning it form dirt, sweat and blood. The steam got in to your lungs and you felt them sterilize, and your skin relax and breath, as it went painfully red with the heat. It wasn’t a long shower, but it was energizing and refreshing, and when you got out you felt stronger. On one of the benches laid your backpack and you approached it carefully not to slip on the transpired floor, you got out your towel and began to dry yourself and when you got out your clothes you found the box with your pills in the bottom of the bag. You took them out and lingered on them, as you usually did. Those pills helped you with your coagulation problem, the one that in the past had pulled you to the hospital in more than one occasion, but they also made you numb and slow, and with your life, your hunter life, you just couldn’t allow that.

You threw them again inside the bag and got dressed, you needed to get back on track, that wraith wasn’t going to be hunted on it’s own.

You wished you could’ve mastered that kung fu move, though.

———————————————————————————————

It was a dark alley, a  _really_  dark alley, the only lights that you could see where at the edges and over the surrounding streets, in there, the buildings blocked all that and you felt your heart sink: this was just not good, why do people even walk through that place? You fingers tightened around your silver knife and with a last sigh you stepped forward.

Or at least that was your intention, because before you could move a hand grabbed your shoulder with a strong grip. You didn’t even think about it. Your feet grabbed to the floor as you turned on the spot to your right, your right hand lifting the strange arm over your head, losing the knife that fell to the floor, and your left arm wrapping around his neck, while, with an accurate kick beyond the knees, destabilizing the man that fell to the street with a lump and a loud “Uhg”.

Both your hands reached for your mouth in surprise, but then you just burst in a loud laughter that filled the street, while another laugh joined you. There was another man standing there, bend over and giggling breathless. Your knees gave away and you landed in the sidewalk, next to the guy in the floor, unable to speak.

“It’s not even remotely funny” said Dean Winchester, rubbing his hand over the hip he had landed with “You could’ve broken something… like my thinking gear” insisted while pointing his head with a finger.

It was too much for you, and burst into another laps of giggling. “Not – that” you tried to breath “you - use it much!”

Sam was still laughing too, but he had managed to calm himself. Dean was raging, an expression of pure hate coming out of his eyes as he got up. Eventually, you came to a stop and regain your composure. “Wow, it had been a while since I laughed this hard” you said, whipping the tears from your cheeks.

“You finished?” Dean inquired

“Aaahhhhh, yeah” you said with a sweet grin that made his face soften “I missed you, cute little puppy”

“Don’t call me that!” he replied, hugging you hard “you cute little kitty…”

“Meow” was all that you said, mimicking a cat’s claw with your fingers.

“Are you done? With the flirting I mean” asked Sam with wary voice. You both looked at him with vexed expressions, but before you could say anything he was already talking “Hate to break this to you, but with all that clatter I really doubt we’re going to get anything done tonight, at least not right now”.

You glanced to the alley, and suddenly it looked more illuminated than a couple of minutes ago. If there was a wraith there, it wasn’t anymore.

“Well” said Dean “That’s my queue for a beer” and strode off down the street to the Impala, that was parked a block away.

“I guess you’re right” you answered, and grabbed Sam’s arm with a smile on our face and you both followed him. It wasn’t the night you were expecting, but it surely was the one you needed.

————————————————————————–

“Wait, what?” Dean was looking at you with an astonished expression.

“I-lost-my-knife” you repeated, angrily.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Look, I wouldn’t have lost it, if you could stop trying to sneak behind me every single time” your tone was low, and firm, and Dean knew better than to try to defend himself.

“Sorry” he said simply “Wanna go see if it’s still there?”

“I would like that… yeah”

“Well” said Sam “This could be the chance we’ve been waiting for” he glared at his watch “I bet that wraith is already back at its fishing place”

Dean and you exchanged looks. You both knew that if your knife wasn’t there, you couldn’t just go on the hunt, and yet, after tonight, there was a big chance the monster would change it’s spot, so if it was still there, you had to go for it.

“It’s a straight lane” you said unconvincingly “it shouldn’t be too hard to stick together” You looked up at Dean “You get your chance to protect me”

“I’ll be honored” he said with a smile that you couldn’t quite figure out.

So there you were, standing in the exact spot where you had swept Dean of his feet. But there was nothing in the floor. You took a deep breath and stared into the alley, it was completely dark again, and that sickening feeling you had felt earlier that same night came back crawling into your mind, right into a place where you couldn’t just keep it off. And suddenly everything started to spin and the lights seemed to fade a little. You shook your head lightly and Sam looked at you with worry in his frown “Y/N, You alright?”

Dean’s gaze traveled from his brother to your face and he could see something was up.

“You look very tired all of a sudden” Sam insisted

“Sammy, it’s alright… I just feel a little dizzy, too much beer for so little food!” you laughed. It didn’t seem like they had bought your lie, but at least they weren’t pushing. “Just give me a sec to breathe up”

You leaned against the bricked wall and rest your head with your eyes shut, feeling the cool breeze running through your hair and into your lungs. It was not as effective as the steam, but it cleared your mind. You stuck your hand in one of your pockets and withdraw a half-eaten chocolate and started to chew it still with your eyes closed, regaining your stand. When you opened your eyes, the boys were looking at you oddly.

“What? I told you, I needed something else than booze in my stomach” You checked your gun and looked back at them “Are we doing this?”

You and Dean took the long walk around the building, so you would approach to the center of the alley from both sides, hopefully giving no chance to the monster to run away. The walk was quiet as neither of you was feeling like talking, that was something you loved about hunting with Dean, he didn’t spend energy or focus over little things, he would go straight to the business and do it. Just like you liked to hunt.

Once you were on the other side, you took off your phone and light-signaled Sam on the entrance of the passage. A second passed by and you received the answer. You looked at Dean and nodded, drew your gun, took a deep breath and stepped into the darkness.

You were suddenly surrounded by little spots of twinkling lights that were… laughing? You turned around and realized that Dean wasn’t there anymore, but you knew better than to panic, he had just been there, he couldn’t be far, so you extended your left arm with your hand open while still grabbing the gun with the other, and waited. A second passed and then you felt the squeeze of his fingers on your skin. That was good enough for you, you didn’t need to see him, you just needed to know he was there.

The moment you stepped into that alley, the wraith’s hallucinations started to act on both of you. Dean could still see you, but to him you were covered in blood and cuts, and there were bodies lying on the floor, he was struck by this image when he saw you held your hand out, he lingered a second and understood you were lost in your illusion, so he grabbed you and kept on walking, knife drawn and in front of him.

On the other side of the alley, Sam walked in casually, no hallucinations or illusions, he could see you both quite clearly and knew something wasn’t right the moment you stopped to reach for Dean. So he raised his own knife, and holding up his flashlight he started walking faster in order to reach you, and that’s when he saw it. In the brink of one of the lowest windows, there was a man looking down at you two, a grim smile in his face. Sam turned off the light and approached him slowly, wishing he wouldn’t see him before he could get close, but in that very moment, he jumped and landed between you two, breaking the handshake.

You turned around hastily, looking for Dean, for his hand, for you ground wire, but all you could see were little sparks of light that were surrounding and getting closer to you. You screamed a high pitch scream and dropped to your knees, not wanting to move, afraid of what a mess could end up being if you let yourself lose control, you could get someone hurt,  _you could shot Dean_.

“It’s not real, it’s no real, it’s not real” you kept humming to yourself.

“Oh, but dear” said the little voices coming from the darkness “It’s all quite real” And suddenly, the little lights become bees that started to sting your entire body.

Your screams woke Dean up from his dream. “Y/N!” he screamed, but before he could act, the wraith was all over you, sting drawn and coming up to you. He jumped forward brandishing his knife at the exact same time that Sam did the same on the other side. But the creature was fast and stopped Dean with an accurate punch to his stomach, and sent Sam flying against a wall, knife clattering in the concrete as it fell from his grip. You couldn’t see it, but you could hear it, you could feel the air disturbances around you, you heard your friends’ gasps and moans, and rage took over you.

Inhaling deeply you closed your eyes and concentrate, and suddenly the glowing bees were gone. Yet, you didn’t trust yourself not to be overwhelmed again by the powers of the monster, so you just proceeded as many times before during your trainings, eyes shut. The wraith was breathing heavily.

“What’s up, dear, you feel lonely without your bodyguards?” Now you knew where he stood.

A low giggle came from your left, and you felt relief as you heard Dean’s voice “Dude, you’ve got this all wrong”, and he kept on laughing.

“You’re so- screwd up” you heard Sam say in a rough whisper.

They were buying you time… what for? You thought hard and harder while Sam and Dean kept mocking the wraith, it was turning to face Dean, walking to him,  _hitting him_.

“Seriously man, why would you think we’re her bodyguards?” The sound of another punch and another moan got to you and struck you like a lightning.

You needed to stab that ugly creature before it hurt him badly, but in order to do that you needed a knife…  _the knife_ , Sam’s knife. Your feet wondered through the floor until you found it, and after that everything just settled in.

You bent down and grabbed it, and sprinted towards the creature. And he was fast, really fast, but you were faster and you were angry because he had hurt your best friends in the world. You extended your arm and find him, and once you made contact, you could come up with his exact posture and prevent it’s whole moves, and so you punched it right in the middle of the face, a second punch in its chest made it stumble down, and in that exact moment you plunged Sam’s knife in his heart.

“She doesn’t need any bodyguards” whispered Sam.

You heard a low thump and new it was over.

Slowly opened your eyes and the first thing you saw, was Dean, broken and bleeding, just lying there, with half a smile full of pride dedicated to you, your heart sank at his sight, and something inside you just came out of sync, like if your heart had stopped for a second. You turned around and ran towards Sam, who was giggling while trying to get up.

“Here, Sammy, let me help you” you said placing yourself under his arm and pushing him up. “How’s your head?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, the lack of air was what took me down, it didn’t hit my head.”

“Good”

“Aren’t you going to help me?” asked Dean from the floor.

“Oh, I thought that with all the training you have in being kicked the hell out of you by me, you would be able to do it by yourself” you respond with a laugh, and holding a hand to him you pulled to help him to his feet, and as you did, you lost your balance.

Dean looked at you with concern “You alright?”

“Fine, must be the reminiscence of the hallucinations” you ventured “Let’s go, I need a bath and a good 4 hours sleep minimum”

You reached for your dropped gun, and when you were bending over to reach it, you caught a glimpse of a shine with the corner of your eye. You approached the wraith, and from its pocket you withdraw your knife, the piece of fabric that had been wrapping it had fallen.

“Hey! It was a good night after all!” you said happily, and started walking to the Impala, the boys right behind you.

“Dean” said Sam once you had gotten a bit further from them “The wraith’s hallucinations don’t leave after effects”

“I know” was all he answered.

By the time you got to the car, your head was spinning and you felt like if your head was being pressed from the sides, your vision was blurred and a dark cloud was closing in your sight making everything black. You jumped quickly in the back seat and let yourself go. You just wished the guys wouldn’t figure it out.

————————-

Sam and Dean saw you stumble into the car and immediately realized that there was something wrong with you.

“Y/N, Y/N!” he screamed while shaking your unconscious body “Y/N wake up! Please girl, wake up!” He held your head with a hand and stroked your face with the other “Please, Kit-kat, wake up”

But you didn’t wake up. Dean curled up in the back seat with you and Sam drove you all back to the motel. Once there, Dean got you out of the car and placed you softly in his bed, sitting next to you. There was an odd look in his face, a mix of pain and concern and delight, with his fingers he caressed your face gently, placing your hair behind your ear and out of your eyes. He sighed deeply and turned around to face his brother.

“Let’s fix this”.

Three hours later, they hadn’t figure out what was wrong with you. Your breathing was regular and you looked asleep, but you still wouldn’t wake up.

“Dean, get her in the car, we’re going to the hospital”.

“And tell them what, Sammy? That she might’ve been severely affected by a hallucination induced by a monster that eats brains?”

Sam lingered, concerned across his face, while he looked at Dean trying to find a way to tell him what he suspected.

“Dean… I… I don’t think…”.

“What, Sammy?” He forced himself to take his gaze from you, there was something about his brother’s tone that made him uneasy.

“I don’t think this is because of the wraith”.

Dean stood up, away from you. “What?” he glared at you and suddenly he understood what Sam was saying, and a shadow came across his face. “Why wouldn’t she tell us there’s something wrong with her?”

“Beat’s me, but we should really get her to a hospital” urged Sam.

“Right, you drive” he said, tossing him the keys and carefully picking you up. “Grab her bag, we might need some more information about her than what we know.”

Once in the road, Dean started to empty you bag, looking for something that might give him a clue to what was wrong with you.

“Sam, look at this” he said picking up the box of pills “It’s some kind of medicine”

“Oh shit! I just hope we’re still in time”.

Dean gripped you tight and let his forehead rest in yours “Hang in there, girl”.

———————

There was a bipping noise. And this funny smell, like something was too clean.

“I didn’t know the motels around here had such comfortable beds” you whispered to yourself.

“They don’t” answered a gruffly voice.

“Oh, shit” was all you could come up with. You were still wandering if you should open your eyes when you felt a strong, rough hand picking yours up, tenderly. You shivered from toes to head, goosebumps appearing in your arms and neck.

“Sorry” he said, releasing you, and so you opened your eyes to look at Dean.

“It’s ok” you said softly, now you were starting to feel the pain in your head, like it had been cracked open “here boy, gimme the hand” you joked, while trying to whistle, in an attempt to make Dean less worried.

He gave you half a smile and hold you again, a little bit stronger. “You could’ve told us” his eyes fixed on the edge of the bed, his free hand playing with a wrinkle on the sheet.

“Dean…”

“You should’ve told us” he insisted, with a deep serious voice “Dammit, you should’ve been taking your damn medicine, Y/N!”

“No” you said suddenly, retrieving your hand and trying to sit up, only to fail miserably due to the pain and nausea.

“What?”

“No, Dean, you don’t get to tell me what to do.  _You don’t understand_!”

“I understand enough” he said, standing up “I understand you don’t care about yourself the way you should, and that you’re actually willing to die” he looked at you with deception written all over his face “And I can’t stand behind you waiting for that to happen, my life goal is to keep you safe, not watch you die”. And he strode off the room.

 _What?_  Your head was spinning and your thoughts were scrambling in your mind, what did he mean with the  _his life goal_  thing? What was going on? Sam came into the room not a minute later.

“Hey!” he said, knocking lightly on the door while walking in. He hugged you tightly and looked at you expectantly while he sat in the same chair Dean had just left “How are you feeling?”

“Well… I’m a little confused now. What the hell is wrong with Dean?”

“He’s uh… he’s just worried. And was a little scared, too”

“There’s nothing to be scared about” you said with a sad laugh “Faints are just normal with me”

“Faints?” Sam inquired, drawing away from you just a little “Y/N, you didn’t  _just_  faint. You were gone for days”

“What?”

“You had a stroke”

Your mouth fell open, and for a second you couldn’t come around. Then you closed it and gulped, inhaled deeply and slowly raised a hand to your head, only to find that it was covered in gauze “I should really apologize to Dean” you said, and Sam smiled.

The doctor came in at that moment to check on you and Sam walked out of the room.

——————–

Two months later, you woke up in your newly acquired bed in Sam and Dean’s bunker. Everything still seemed new, the smells, the noises, the colors… it was all new for you. Of course, you had been there before but only as a visitor, you had your house, your cars, your money…

You moaned while sitting up, and Sam’s face appeared in the door. “Hey! You up? How’s your first night out of the hospital?”

“Quiet” you said with a smile “Warm, comfortable”

“Good! There’s coffee and doughnuts in the kitchen, let me help you up”

You put on a pair of sweatpants and walked all the way to the kitchen grabbed to Sam’s arm. Your legs were still stiff, and you knew that it would take you a lot of time to regain your former state. When you got there, you stood hesitantly. Dean was there, and he looked at you with that weird expression he used to get now whenever you were around.

“How was your night?” he asked.

“Good. It was good, peaceful”

“Good” he said, grabbed his coffee mug and left the kitchen.

Your gaze lingered on him while walking away and you sighed unwittingly.

“He’ll come around” said Sam, placing in front of you a mug and a plate with doughnuts.

“No he won’t” you said with a sad smile “He would’ve already. It’s been two months, I don’t think he can forgive me”.

————————–

“It’s over here” Said Sam walking you into a room you hadn’t seen before. Another week had pass and now you could walk freely, though slowly. The room was wide, and it had a window in the ceiling that illuminated it entirely.

“Why would the Men of Letters even build a training room?” you asked, amazed “I thought they were all thinking and no action”.

“Dorothy” you both jumped at the sound of Dean’s voice “She made sure her father build her a nice place to hang out while she was with him”.

“Oh…” you said lowly. Dean walked in and stood before a hitting bag, measuring it, before starting to punch it “I’ll come back later” you added, looking at Sam, who gave you a sorry smile.

“Stay” Dean said “Don’t mind me, I just need to hit something, it’s been too long since our last hunt and I’m starting to get bored”

You hesitated, but Sam smiled at you and left the place, patting you on the shoulder. You stayed there, watching Dean fight (poorly, you thought) against the bag, and after a couple of minutes you turned around “I’ll come back tomorrow” you said.

“Why?” Dean had stopped punching “Y/N, you need your training”.

“No” you said “I need rehab… it’s not the same, and that can wait”.

“The Y/N I know wouldn’t leave training for tomorrow”

“Well… she had a stroke!” you muttered angrily “I’m not sure she’s going to come back, Dean, I…”

“How are you supposed to get back in the game if you don’t train?” he asked bitterly “You managed to be standing in your feet and walking around in just a couple of months, why wouldn’t you be able to come back?”

“Dean… I… you don’t understand…”

“Then help me understand!” He shouted “Please! Tell me what is so important to you that you had to stop taking your meds, what is so difficult to handle that now you refuse to come back to us!” and after a slow pause he added in a whisper “To me”.

Something twisted in your stomach when you heard him say those last words, and tears began to fall through your face, silent tears that you had been holding back for far too long.

“Oh, hey” He approached you swiftly “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m so sorry” he hold you in a warm hug and you just stayed there, letting it all go. Eventually, you dried out and pushed yourself away from him softly.

“The meds” you began “they help me with my coagulation problem. It’s a weird disease, al lot like hemophilia, but it affects women as well. It’s called von Willebrand disease. These meds, they’re good to me that way, I don’t get dizzy, or headaches, or bruises, and of course I don’t get to be hospitalized a lot… But it holds me back. It makes me numb and slow, and I can’t react or think or move as fast as I usually can.”

“Y/N…”

“No, let me finish. If that night, against the wraith, I would’ve been on the meds… we would all have died, because there’s no way on earth I could’ve managed to move blinded, hell, I’m not sure I would’ve managed to get hold of the hallucinations”.

“Sam and I would’ve handle it”

“Dean, he was beating the life out of you, you couldn’t even stand on your own. And you were counting on me, you both were. You’re my friends, I’m willing to risk everything to keep you safe, and that night, without me, you would’ve died”.

“You don’t know that” he said, holding your hand for the first time in two months.

“Yes I do! I couldn’t go in the hunt having taken my pills, even less knowing you were counting on me”

“And because of that now you’re crippled”

You laughed sadly “Dean, I’ve always been crippled, you just didn’t know it”. Your eyes met his, and suddenly you were lost in his gaze, his amazing life-giving gaze. Your heart was beating faster and the knot in your stomach tightened.

“We’re going to get you back out there” he said softly, holding your face with his hands delicately “I need you out there, I need to know you can handle what’s coming for us” and with that, he planted a soft kiss in your lips. You melted in his arms, tears down your face, and you felt a jolt of lightning traveling down your spine and into your arms and legs. It was an energy you hadn’t felt before, it was a glimpse of hope for you.

“Ok” you said when you finally parted “Let’s get to it. But first, I’m going to teach you to stand, because those punches you were throwing earlier, those make want to punch you!”

“Easy, Kit-kat” he laughed, sparkles in his eyes “We have a long way to go before you can teach me anything” And he kissed you once more, smiling.


End file.
